When it comes to dating, Ethan Lee was a late bloomer. Having absolutely no idea what he was doing, this initially self-doubter was jealous of the guys who had a continuous string of girlfriends. He had two choices: Blame everybody around him and change nothing… OR do something about it.
So he started his journey in 2007, went about honing his craft with vigor and determination. He went to clubs and bars almost every possible night; walked the streets, practising his “art” each day to find what worked and what didn’t. The desire to be good with women kept him going, no matter how taxing it was. Here’s what he shared with us.
Tell us a bit about yourself?
I had a really hard time socializing when I was growing up. I recall being bullied a lot in school and had a hard time making friends. Not to mention having no luck with girls.
It always seemed like I was trying too hard to be someone smarter, cooler. I would get dates with girls but it never led to anywhere – I’d be just like a chaperone taking her to dinner and sending her home. It wasn’t until I learned self-appreciation (not to the extent of narcissism) that I truly felt comfortable in my own skin and surprisingly, people liked me for who I really was.
People often forget that sometimes less is more. You gotta first appreciate yourself before you expect others to appreciate you.
How did you come about discovering starting your interest in being a Dating Coach?
I made countless approaches — most of them wrong. Wrong because I thought that doing things the way they’ve “always been done” was the right way. You have no idea how many times I spent money on drinks, dinners, and gifts, just to see the girl take them, leave and never look back. It was depressing, to say the least.
Throughout my journey as a pickup artist, I took insults, enjoyed make out sessions, but also had a few awkward moments. But these not only helped me learn how to talk to girls, but also to people. I ended up injecting confidence into every aspect of my life, and the way I conducted myself completely changed. I was still the same person, but… I felt free, validated, different. I felt like me — 100% Ethan, 100% of the time.
In short, my route to self-discovery was a success. If I did not make a conscious choice to change my situation, I would be a lonely, single guy and probably still a virgin. It turned my life around — hence I started Gentlemen’s Secrets to help guys turn their lives around too.
Any satisfying moments from then on?
I recall when I was training to be good with women, I hit a plateau. Nothing was happening, and there were no results. That was because I was still using a lot of “routines” and trying to be someone I wasn’t. When I finally ditched that, I was having as many as 4 different dates a week. It felt comfortable and I was happy.
Tell us about one recent achievement.
I met someone at a club this year. Everything was rather unexpected, considering the fact that I’m very seasoned in the dating aspect and seldom go into a serious relationship. But also for the same reason, I know that she is the perfect one for me. We are currently in a very happy and committed relationship.
Congrats! How about any painful moments? Or something that irked you?
I can’t recall exactly but there were probably times in the past where women might have rejected me politely and I felt really bad about it. But later on, I realised 2 things.
1) The chemistry was just not there – To avoid it, don’t take things to heart especially when nothing has really started.
2) I took action too late – To avoid this, state/act out your intentions early. It makes no sense to know if it’s a yes or no later.
Every now and then as Ethan goes about his day, he would stop to have a conversation with someone he feels attracted to, be it on the streets, at a café or bar. If you do not bump into him, you can find him online at Pally, for an experience to show you what dating success is all about.
With regards to this unique experience, what are the biggest misconceptions about “being coached on how to date”?
I’m teaching men how to get good with women. But this is not magic, neither is it an algorithm that guarantees that you get every single woman you set your eyes on. As “good” as you may turn out to be, we are human and not a piece of software or game. There is still something called “chemistry”.
Were there any interesting stuff which happened while coaching?
One client was so hesitant in approaching his targets that I had to set a “punishment” every time he hesitated by making him do push-ups or jumping jacks in the middle of the mall when he hesitated. Needless to say, it worked.
Can you identify “dating geniuses” while coaching them?
There’s no such thing as a “genius” in dating. People who think that they’re a “genius” in dating have very wrong ideas. It’s about how open-minded you are.
What is the ultimate goal for being an effective Dating Coach?
To empower men with the power of choice through abundance in their dating life.
Choose one: Money or Experience
Experience. With Experience, Money will naturally come.
Ethan Lee enjoyed the entire learning process, absorbing it all from his favourite quote by Richard Branson “If somebody offers you an amazing opportunity but you are not sure you can do it, say yes – then learn how to do it later!” Do check out Dating Coach Ethan Lee here!